A few weeks ago, I asked Hubs how he had been adjusting to life with two littles. I am pretty sure he knows how I've been adjusting since I am not shy about how our days go, but my sweet husband is rather reserved and quiet when it comes to stuff like this. We always joke that "Rinaldi men don't talk about their feelings" and it's more true than not. But when I straight up ask him a question, he'll start to open up. He talked about being tired (natch), and how its easier to know what to do with Ariana since we'd been there before, but how Kyran is more demanding now that he's constantly on the move...
And then that rare moment when I have a brilliant beyond brilliant idea happened.
Me: "OMG do you want to write a post for me from your point of view of life with two babies?!?! Please, please, pretttyyyy pleaseeeeee" ::cue begging, pleading, puppy dog eyes and my 'I'll do ANYTHING' look:: (Well, not anything, come on, that's how we got here in the first place...)
Hubs: "Umm... sure."
And it was settled. And he wrote a wonderful post. And sent it to me. And I didn't edit it for grammar at all. :D
I thought this would be a great way to get into a guy's mind about parenting, advice, a male's perspective, etc. I mean, there are few to none male bloggers and I don't know ANY "Daddy Blogs" so a fresh point of view is definitely something I'd love to read from any father, let alone the father of my own children.
So without further ado, here is a post from my wonderful, handsome, sometimes hilarious (jk, honey, I love you!), always entertaining Baby Daddy ;)
Hello Aliya’s blog readers, this is her husband, Justin... more formally known as “Hubs.” Aliya asked me to write a guest post from the Dad’s persctive on adjusting to two kids. This is the first blog post I have ever written so be gentle.
Currently, Ariana is about eight weeks old, so we are almost at the two month mark into this experiment of multiple child raising, and man, did we have it easy with one. At least that is what it feels like in hindsight. Kyran doesn’t have an off switch, which is awesome because he is a ton of fun to play with and has a great personality, but if you care about keeping doors closed, or not having a glass of water poured on the carpet, he needs constant supervision. Ariana on the other hand, is pretty content to just lay there with a pacifier; she is rarely trying to wash her hands in our dog’s water bowl.
When people find out we have two kids who are a year apart, we get a lot of (unsolicited) advice. “Oh my nieces are like that, it’s going to be really hard for four years, but after that, it’s great!” Um.. Thanks..? I could honestly do without the first 75% of that sentence. I didn’t think raising two kids a year apart was going to be a breeze, I don’t need the length of time I am going to be a zombie quantified. “Is four years supposed to be a short amount of time, because I didn’t get through college in four years, so thanks.”
The lack of sleep aside, having two kids this close has actually been really fun. I am not just saying this next part because it’s her blog, but Aliya has been amazing. If you are a regular reader, you might have noticed how organized she is. If you have, I should let you know I am the exact opposite. I think I have probably pushed her over the edge with how unorganized I am since she specifically does things now to keep me organized, which in turn, has helped keep the kids stuff organized, so she should really be thanking me. The numerous outings and trips we have gone on and are planning to go on have been able to happen because of her laminated lists, and also my terrific car and trunk packing skills. (It’s a gift, I can’t teach it.)
I am kind of at a loss on how to explain having two kids. The actual day to day process of having two kids is something you just get used to. Now granted, I haven’t had to watch them for an extended period of time, so most of the time I have a second pair of hands and eyes on the kid I am not watching. From the short time I have been alone with both kids it is a little daunting, especially because Ariana goes from 0 to screaming her head off in .2 seconds. Not having spent time around a ton of other one-year-olds, I am just going to go out on a limb and say that Kyran is probably normal. Plays with something for 10 to 15 minutes, then gets distracted and moves on, cranky when hungry or tired, but overall in always in a wonderful mood.
Despite the tips from the person above, I don’t think it’s going to be four years of pain. Kyran is becoming such a little man, everyday he is learning more and more, which in turn will help us, at least I hope. Plus we are still learning what makes our little princess tick, right now it’s everything from a slight cold breeze to her brother yanking her pacifier out of her mouth.
So now here is some unsolicited advice / tips, not specific to guys, but it is from me, so it won’t be about which type of bra to buy. Take both kids somewhere as much as possible. When I get home, if it’s not 100 degrees outside, I like to take both kids and the dog on a walk, even if it’s for 20 minutes. Not only does Ky love being outside and Dora needs to walk, but I would assume Aliya needs the break, so whenever I can I take them out. You have probably heard this from Aliya but we also try to actually go places with both them as much as possible. It might take more time to get them ready and get to our destination then we actually stay there, but the more you do it, the easier it is. I think Ky has been out to eat more in the last 14 months than I did my first 14 years of life, so maybe when he is two and three he won’t be “that” kid in the restaurant. Every family has their own rhythm and likes and dislikes, I would just say try to find a schedule that works. It may get repetitive sometimes, but that’s what date nights are for. Speaking for myself, the more things that have gone to plan in Aliya’s day, the better for everyone involved (read: me).
I was probably all over the place in this blog post, but I am admittedly not the writer in the family. This is probably the most I have written since year 5 of college (call back). Hopefully our kids get Aliya’s writing skills. I am sure you are going to see a cleaned and edited version that has passed through Aliya’s eyes, but hopefully she didn’t censor me. I will double back and answer any questions anyone has for me, no pressure. Maybe it can even be a segment I start doing semi-regularly if you guys like it, or if you hate it, I will never write again, either way.