The Day I Wanted to Crawl in a Hole and Die.

Last Wednesday was one for the books. And by "books" I mean, The Mommy Diaries. The collection of tales and stories that I will carry with me to the grave and that I will tell my children many, MANY times throughout their lifetime, to the point where they will be older and wiser and with their own kids and when I begin one of these stories, they'll be like, "yea, yea, yea... and then Ky pooped on the carpet, WE KNOW."

And while the night Ky pooped on the carpet is a great story, it doesn't hold a candle to this one. This one that earned me more mom badges than I was prepared for that morning. The story that I will for SURE tell his first girlfriend. His high school buddies. At his rehearsal dinner. THIS STORY.

Wednesday. Any other morning, except I was showered and dressed with two dressed babies and out the door by 10am. Ok, so not really any other morning.

We were headed about 5 minutes down the road to go to an Open House Orientation for a preschool we are considering for Ky. He wouldn't start until the fall, but this school is very coveted, registration begins in two weeks, and there are only NINE SPOTS available so we wanted to check it out. My aunt came with us because my mom wasn't feeling well and my aunt helped us find the school. I thought about leaving the baby but she was tired so I figured she'd nap in the stroller while my aunt pushed and I'd walk around with Ky.

Oh, the best laid plans...

So, all morning I'm talking to Ky about school. Trying to explain to his little mind where we will be going. Talking about friends and toys and parks and books. All the things he's going to learn and the people he's going to meet. And he kept looking at me with his big brown eyes and his one-dimpled grin and repeating, "Skoooool!" and "Booook!"Ok, kid sure.

We get there, and I pop Ariana into the stroller and hold Ky's hand as we walk in. Warning sign #1: he was hesitant. He kept dragging his feet as we were walking into the church where the school is. Warning sign #2? He started whining.

I didn't think much of it, just figured he was in a new place, it was cold, he didn't know what was going on.. I scooped him up and walked in. Grabbed our information pamphlet and a little brochure about the Church School and was ushered into a large rec room where there were about 10 other mothers and children, ages 18 mos - 4 years old.

And that is when all hell broke loose.

I am not kidding. I am not exaggerating ONE BIT. It might seem like I am, but I swear to the moon and back I am not. Every single child was standing or sitting quietly, like a perfect statue angel, next to their mother.

Except mine.

Ky. was. a. DISASTER.

And I use the term disaster lightly. He did NOT want to be in that room. He kept running out and when I tried bringing him back in, he would start whining/grunting and trying to get away from me. When I would put him in my lap, he would squirm out, screaming, "DOWN! DOWN!" He kept escaping so finally I took him in the hall (the orientation had begun) and tried "talking" to him. I'm sure you can guess how that went over. Trying to reason/explain something logically to a 19.5-month old isn't exactly easy, to say the least. He saw a fountain and said, "water!" so I gave him some water, thinking that would calm him down. Nope.

By this point, I was sweating bullets. I took my coat and scarf off and just stood in the doorway of the rec room trying to listen to the orientation and the questions the other parents were asking, all while holding Ky's hand as he is basically pulling it out of my socket trying to escape again and run down this ramp they had near the entrance.

Finally, I try to distract him with a book or a VHS case, showing him the colors and the letters on it, sneaking him onto my lap. That worked for about 30 seconds. Then, my aunt offered to take him outside the room so I could listen, and he wanted nothing to do with that, so he came and sat next to me but kept pointing out (read: screaming) everything in the room while people were talking: Clock! Green! Book! Door!

Suffice to say, I wanted to drop dead. I literally wanted to be struck by lightening right then and there. I was humiliated. I know that every single one of those kids has probably been "that kid" somewhere once, too... in a bookstore or a restaurant or the mall or whatever. But here?! In a SCHOOL. In Ky's potential school? With 40 other perfect parents and perfect children's eyes boring right into us. The sympathetic looks. The thoughts of, "wow, hope that kid isn't in our class..." OMG. I just wanted to crawl in a hole and die.

Oh, but then there was the tour. The tour of all the classrooms... each of which had toys, and books, and FUN KID THINGS that Ky wanted to play with and then would proceed to have the MELTDOWN OF THE CENTURY every time we left a classroom, which was approximately every 3 minutes.

I won't go on, but it was bad. When we left, I cried the whole way home. My aunt kept trying to make me feel better by saying he was having an "off day" (whatever that means), and all those other kids were boring, and Ky was the only one saying ANYTHING at all, the teacher was so impressed by his knowledge of colors and shapes and how much he was talking... Yea, yea.. that's all fine and good. Glad the teacher was impressed he knew his colors. NOT. You know why? Because on February 4th if/when I go to register him and I'm in line with all those other parents? I won't be the mom whose kid knew all his colors. No, I'll be the mom whose kid was possesed by the Anti-Christ.

Ky is a smart kid. And 8 times out of 10, he's a GREAT kid. He's funny and he laughs and he plays and he does listen. I know he gets overwhelmed in big social situations. I should have thought about that and considered leaving him at home, but honestly, I didn't even think for a second that it would be an issue. I think he NEEDS school to help him learn to socialize in big groups and interact with other kids. I am not sure if I can go to that school now because of his behavior... (kidding... ok, no. Not kidding.)... but I am looking forward to starting him in some groups and classes so he gets adjusted and we never have to deal with KyMonster again.

We are starting this week with a pre-school play group, one morning a week for two hours at a Montessori school nearby. It's a supervised group, so my mom and I will alternate who goes with him each class so we can both be privy to his needs and behaviors. I think (I hope), this will be a good starting point for pre-school. IF he goes to that school in the fall, it will be three hours a day, twice a week. I am hopeful by then all these issues will be behind us.

When we got home, Ky took an almost three-hour nap. We had lunch and went for a long walk, and he was fine the rest of the day. It was so frustrating for me, and exhausting for us both. I am hopeful that this is a phase... a brief, wrinkle in time, and nothing that will be a burden on our future. I know he's just a kid... a baby, really. And I pray for the strength to deal with his strong-willed temper and for him to learn to deal with me as well.

I love this kid to the ends of the earth. But damn. That day? I almost dropped him at the firehouse. And, I mean, really... It was on the way home ;)