In the last 19.5 months since becoming a mother, I have changed. And I'm not talking about my Stretch Armstrong tummy and how my boobs barely fill my bras anymore.
I've seen things I never thought I'd see. I've touched things I never thought I'd touch. And I've said things I never, ever thought I'd say. Here are just a select few verses I'd noticed... all within the last week or so... as examples:
"Please don't shove cheese down your sippy cup straw."
"Stop throwing grapes at your sister."
"Those flash cards are not for chewing."
"This is called WINE. Can you say 'wiiiiine'?"
"JUST. HOLD. STILL. SO I CAN PICK YOUR BOOGER!"
"Why did you just lick my shoe?"
"Please don't bite the dog. No, really. Please."
"No, we CLOSE the door when mommy is on the potty."
"Did you just fart?! Say, 'excuse me'."
"Yes. 'HAT.' Good job. Except... that's not a hat. That's mommy's underwear."